- grandma: you're 17? you're getting old aren't ya!
- me: grandma you're like 80
my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
Anonymous asked: Your dick is probably like a tic tac hahahahhahaha
That’s probably why your moms mouth is so fresh
My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
I am afraid